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"To keep my pain under control, my doctors regularly needed to up the doses of the drugs as I become tolerant — which they were always happy to do. I know that some of what happened next was my fault: I’m well educated, and I should have been thinking more long-term. But if I’m perfectly honest, I was just scared. The memory of those early days in the hospital was constantly present, and my life revolved around keeping my pain manageable; whenever I began to feel as if I was losing control, I upped the dosage and informed my doctors, who wrote a new prescription. It never even occurred to me that I should be aggressively looking for the first possible moment to begin decreasing my medication, and no one told me to do so."
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